I AM FAILING.

I am FAILING FAILING FAILING.

I am obviously not writing in this daily, which I need to do.
I am not writing down my food, which I also need to do.
The last couple of days, I have thrown good eating habits out the window entirely.
I'm drinking more diet coke than water.
I'm still getting in exercise, but that isn't enough.

I NEED HELP. I need to be held accountable. Please annoy the crap out of me about this if I start slacking again, I REALLY can't afford to do this.

To catch you up to speed on the last week... last Sunday was our first dance lesson & everything was covered in several inches of snow. We showed up at the place (there was no phone number or email) and sat in the car in the parking lot because the lights were off inside. There were two other cars in the parking lot -- one with a couple about our age, and one older man. No one else ever showed up... those people left, we left. So we didn't have our first dance lesson (or my exercise) due to the snow... and Ben is working this Sunday so we'll miss that too, assuming there is one. I HATE missing the first class... I hate missing any at all, and I really wish he could get out of this. :(

We also had a meeting with a couple at our church that's been married for 47 years. We are doing a program with them that takes 5 weeks where we meet at their house and talk about stuff. Naturally, Ben and I assumed it would be a nightmare. haha. The first night went really well and even though I feel like I'm "squeezing" it in because I'm so busy with other stuff, it's not something I dread. Although, week 4 I think we talk about sex... which isn't exactly my cup of tea, but we'll get through it, I imagine. My cheeks will be beat red I'm sure.

Tuesday was weigh-in day... I lost a pound and Ben lost three. He wasn't happy with those numbers, but I definitely was. I'm hitting numbers on the scale that I haven't seen in years and it feels good. The closer to goal I get the slower this weight is going to come off, I know. This week I'm definitely not so hopeful.

We have no groceries and I have no money and I've just been binging. We went to see Twilight and got popcorn (WITH BUTTER) and last night we took Ben's bff to see Watchmen (longest movie ever) and AGAIN got popcorn - WITH BUTTER. I also got sour patch kids. I had pizza for lunch (well, and breakfast and dinner, I guess... that's all I ate, and it WAS thin crust, but COME ON.)

I haven't been awake long today because I slept in, but for 'breakfast' I've had a diet coke and an ande's mint. Does that look like I'm ready to 'make change?' I NEED to find $ and go grocery shopping. I HAVE to make this a priority. Even if I don't lose any more... I CANNOT gain. And at this rate, I absolutely will.

Exercise has been okay because two days a week I have my hour + 15 min long PE class. But that will be ending soon and I have to keep moving somehow. I was banking on the dance lessons for some extra activity, but the first one was cancelled ( I guess?) and we'll miss the second and UGH. I hate that we're missing one.

My bridal shower invitation came in the mail yesterday! My bff/MOH made them and they're adorable! She's the best! I'll have to have Ben take some pictures later. Today I need to go back out on the hunt for white pumps.

OH OH OH... and I got a bunch of RSVPs back this week, but remember my childhood friends from CA? THEY'RE COMING! They're parents can't (probably b/c they're paying for the girls, lol) but I'm so thrilled they're coming!

and because I didn't put any other pictures in here, and I really wanted to share this with someone.... I'm scanning old pictures of me as a kid for Ben to make a slideshow to play during the reception... and my mom found some pictures of my dad & I that I had never seen before that really mean a lot to me. They're from my 'brother's' wedding... I was a bridesmaid, and there's one of me and my dad, AND one of me and my dad DANCING! It's not a great picture, kind of just a throw away snapshot, but since I won't get to have any good pictures of my dad & I dancing at my wedding, it was really nice to find one of us dancing at someone else's.