without crying like a BABY. I have to write a short paper before I go to bed, so naturally, I'm procrastinating. My dad had a best friend, and his best friend had two daughters who were my age and we grew up together, basically. Every summer we went on week long camping trips in the California mountains, and in the winter we'd go snowboarding for a week or so. These girls were like family, and while we still keep in touch online ... now that my dad isn't alive I don't really have any reason to be in California, and the 'family trips' are kind of over now that we're all grown. Naturally I invited the two girls and their mom & dad to my wedding. Didn't have any expectations of them coming, as I realize it would be a long/expensive trip in the middle of work/school obligations. Well both the girls just commented on my facebook that they are hoping to come. I am just sitting here BAWLING. I didn't realize how important it was to me that they are there. It's just like, my dad won't be... and I need people who know him to be there, ya know? Gah, I'm such a mess trying to type this out. I just miss him, and I know when I walk down the aisle, or do my father/bride dance I am going to be a wreck. Thank God I have my step-dad, who I love and is freaking awesome. He's been a great influence/ role model in my life since I was 9 and he even invited me (and took me) on the first date he took my mom on. He is just the best step-dad I could ever hope for, so I'm very fortunate. I'm happy I'll have a 'dad' to walk me down the aisle and do the first dance with. It still just breaks my heart my daddy won't be there though. Since he was an only child there is no 'family' on his side to come, and these lifelong friends WERE that. Despite the fact that we invited MORE THAN TWICE as many people as we had originally planned for, I'm really hoping these RSVPs in particular don't come in as 'No's." I'll understand, as I kind of expected they wouldn't be able to come, but I really hope they can. *sigh* I'm seriously crying right now and I don't know how I'm going to make it through the wedding day without being a wreck. UGH.
Weigh-in in the morning... if I ever write this paper. haha
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I seriously wish I could just hug you!! I hope weigh in day goes well!
ReplyDeleteI'm crying right now also! Its tough getting married without your dad there. I walked myself down and we skipped parent/kid dance because I can't watch someone else dance with their dad at their wedding without becoming a wreck so I knew there was no way I could watch Troy and his mom. I surprised myself by NOT crying during my ceremony. Troy cried enough for both of us!!! Also I didn't have ONE of my father's side of the family come to the wedding (out of the 80ish I invited). I'm SO glad you will have someone there to do the dad stuff and have him remembered. It was HANDS DOWN the hardest day post his death in my life! BIG HUGS FOR YOU GIRL!
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